In this post I want to reflect on a very simple piece of guidance that I feel is a critical part of growing as a leader. The guidance comes from Peter Drucker, the renowned writer and management consultant, and is as follows, “The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn’t being said.” The world is full of people who don’t want to rock the boat, or who don’t want to risk putting themselves in a negative light, or who simply do not like to be even slightly confrontational. And although I suspect that the vast majority of such individuals do not intend to do harm, by not speaking their mind and by not challenging the thought on the table … they serve as accomplices in decision making that might be less than it might be or even downright in error.
Leaders, especially seasoned leaders who have experienced the impact of either not receiving adequate input from others or of assuming that they have all the answers and therefore do not need outside counsel, generally learn this reality the hard way and realize that they absolutely must listen to others and consider their contributed thinking. As well, they know that they must consider the source in the input-evaluation process. And, they must become learned in reading between the lines.
Regardless, the critical first step is actively seeking input. The second critical step is truly listening to and evaluating that input. And the third critical step is utilizing that input, when appropriate, to modify one’s own position … even if doing so points to the error in one’s own original thinking. This may sound like a straight forward and very logical progression, but I have been amazed through the years at just how many people cannot or will not put themselves in supposed jeopardy by listening to and utilizing the thinking of others. True leaders do not embrace such concerns … their journey is to the right reaction, the perfect plan, the best possible resolution, which can only be achieved through collective thinking. And for those who do fear falling out of grace in response to the superior thinking of others, I would share the related philosophy of Marcus Aurelius, Roman emperor from 161 to 180, “Remember that to change your mind and follow him who sets you right is to be none the less free than you were before.”
This brings to mind the recent quote in The Washington Post (1/25/2010) from an interview with Valerie Jarrett, a senior adviser, who described President Obama’s response to input as follows, “He likes the rigor of having a conversation with someone who’s going to push him. There’s really no point in him wasting time with people who simply agree with him all the time, because it’s not going to refine his position. It’s not going to enlighten his position.” Amen! To progress a thought, a position or even an organization forward … we all, no matter what our station, need to contribute our true thinking and consider all of the thinking contributed by others. In this sort of debate, there is no right answer or wrong answer, there are only contributing parts to a more complete end result.
Aristotle put it this way, “It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.” To make a worthy decision, one must hear and consider what is being said. None of us has all of the answers, but every one of us has the power to contribute. And the leader who is wise has a refined power to listen … and to hear.
And there is yet another benefit of listening well … the impact it has on the person sharing their thoughts and thinking. Dr. Joyce Brothers described this as follows, “Listening, not imitation, may be the sincerest form of flattery.” In sharing the thinking process with others, we lift them in spirit, we grow their confidence, and we entice their continued contributions. This is leadership.
Author Cross-references:
Aristotle: None
Marcus Aurelius: None
Dr. Joyce Brothers: None
Peter Drucker: Also see post 5/1/09
Valarie Jarrett: None
Key Word Cross-references:
Communication/Effective Speaking: Also see posts 12/12/08, 3/4/09, 5/17/09, 6/26/09, 7/7/09, 9/9/09, 11/20/09, 12/5/09, 1/4/10, 2/24/10
Inclusive/Open/Honest/Transparent: Also see posts 12/12/08, 4/20/09, 5/1/09, 7/7/09, 8/3/09, 10/26/09, 11/11/09, 2/24/10, 5/26/10
Listening: Also see posts 8/3/09, 9/9/09, 10/26/09, 3/29/10
Tags: Leadership
on Leadership ... by Steven Davis, CAE 
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