We Always Have Permission
My mom and my aunt are big on holding doors for other people. They smile big smiles and wave people through, often making small talk the whole while. Everyone ushered through “their doors” walk on with a big smile. I’ve seen them do this in rural Vermont and busy New York City, and people notice, maybe especially in New York City.
I like to think that this is one of the public services that my family does for society. If, even for a second, people are happy when they enter my mom and aunt’s orbit. Does this little spontaneous act make people’s lives better? Yep! By a bit, but still, a smidge better is a lot better than not better.
This is a little generous act that they’ve decided they do. Maybe they got the idea from my grandfather, who would do things like that. I don’t know, but the point is they decide daily that enthusiastically holding doors for other people is something they do.
My friend Meredith's thing that she did was listen intently to other people. When Meredith listened to you, it was like you were the only person in the world.
Once, I saw a traffic director dance as they were directing traffic. It was such fun to see, and they were still effective.
This is the little stuff that makes our lives extraordinary. It makes me sooooo happy to see something like this happen, even when I’m not the recipient. But the best thing about these little acts of kindness, weirdness, or funness is they are autonomous acts. No one told my mom or aunt they had to go out of their way to hold doors open. No one told Meredith she had to hone her super-human listening skills, and no one said the traffic director to dance.
They gave themselves permission.
At any time, we all have permission to do something that is fun, kind, or slightly surprising (in a good way). If we model this behavior for our peers, staff, and volunteer leaders, they may catch on that they, too, have permission to do their thing. And maybe, over time, your community will become known for having an extraordinary ethos people love.
